“You seem to have lost all your joy.”
My husband’s words sliced my heart in two, and tears immediately burned at the back of my eyes and fisted in my throat. It was early in the morning, and I had just (again) grumbled about how we spent more time working than playing, and it felt as if we’d been disconnected recently. Did he feel the tension between us, too?
His response stopped me cold.
He was right. I’d lost my joy. The tension I felt was coming from me—not from him. I’d been hyper-focused on the woes of the world and how overwhelmed it all seemed. I never watch the news, because it makes me anxious, but I had been following a news app that had nothing but doom and gloom on it, and I felt like Eeyore walking around with a dark cloud hanging over my head.
This is one of the tools the enemy uses to make us ineffective. What I feel in my heart is often reflected in my writing. It’s a struggle to craft a story of hope and joy when oppression and darkness fill my spirit. Right then and there, I vowed to stop reading the articles every morning and to guard my thoughts. What Paul the apostle says in Ephesians 6:12 is true. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Give the enemy a foothold into our lives, and he can do a whole lot of damage to our witness.
It wasn’t long after that conversation with my husband that I happened upon a devotional in Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. I use the words “happened upon” loosely, because I don’t believe in coincidence. This particular date was October 16th, and the scripture verse was from Hebrews 12:1—Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Beneath this, the author wrote, “There are weights which are not sins themselves, but which become distractions and stumbling blocks in our Christian progress. One of the worst of these is despondency [italics mine]. The heavy heart is indeed a weight that will surely drag us down in our holiness and usefulness.”
Then she went on to remind the reader that the failure of Israel to enter the promised land began with discontentment. “This led on until it blossomed and ripened into rebellion and ruin. Let us give ourselves no liberty ever to doubt God or His love and faithfulness to us in everything and forever.”
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines despondency as the “state of being despondent; depression of spirit from loss of courage or hope; dejection.”
I find that when I can focus on the reality of who Jesus Christ is, and what He did (and continues to do) for me, I can find joy in that—regardless of everything else that is bombarding us in this fallen world. I will admit that I forget that sometimes, and I have to go back to the Word of God to get refreshed. Ephesians is a wonderful book for this.
We are reminded in Ephesians 1:3-5 of the blessings we have in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will. If that doesn’t jump start a little joy, nothing will. We were chosen friends. Before the creation of the world, the Lord chose us. Doesn’t that just make your head spin a little?
Ephesians 2:1-2 reminds us that we were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of the world and the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. Praise the Lord, if you’re a follower of Jesus Christ, that is no longer you!
But this is not our home. We are here on assignment as ambassadors for Christ, so when everything is crumbling around us, it is temporary. Yes, it may last our lifetime here on earth, but this is a stopgap for us. And Ephesians reminds us that we are in a spiritual battle—one that requires us to be closely connected to the Lord in order to effectively fight. Ephesians 6:10-18 tells us in order to be strong in the Lord, we need to put on the full Armor of God: the belt of truth; the gospel of peace; the shield of faith; the helmet of salvation; the sword of the Spirit (the Word of God).
If you need encouragement (as I often do) I suggest you dig into the book of Ephesians. I need to visit it often in order to combat the wiles of the enemy—and for me, that’s despondency. Maybe he uses a different tool on you, but regardless, we all need be in the Word daily to be reminded of what our purpose is in this world.
As soon as I had worked through this season of discouragement, something happened to test my newfound joy. I started publishing a podcast this month. Since early September, I’ve been interviewing other contemporary Christian authors to highlight. Some I knew slightly, some not at all. The last interview I did was with fellow Celebrate Lit author, Stacy T. Simmons. We’d connected here and there through Facebook since we are both in the Keeping Christmas Volume II collection. Before we even met via Zoom for the interview, I knew I was going to love this woman. And I did. She was absolutely delightful. A sweeter spirit I’d never met.
Five days later, she went home to be with the Lord after complications from a surgery she told me was scheduled for the following week. I was in shock, and saddened, and, yes, despondency began to set in. But then I thought about everything I’ve been reading in Ephesians. God has every minute detail of our lives planned out—including when we’ll be born and when we’ll die. Our hope is in our eternal home. She will be forever, eternally joyful in the Lord. No more struggle. No more doubts. No more pain. No more tears. I pray her family can find some peace and comfort in this truth. And I pray the same for you.
Comments 2
I read this with a sense of joy in your discovery and then sadness with the loss of a friend. Then tears. God is at work among us, even it seems to differ from we would have hoped for. We need to live life to the fullest and live for Him–which I am sure Stacy did. This is an amazing and powerful blog post. Thank you.
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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I truly appreciate it. You are so right!